Please, spring, I miss you.

Just a few musings as I sit here working on my term project.

SAD. I really think most Canadians suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder to a degree, most of us mildly, and some more severely. Nonetheless, it is part of the Canadian psyche.  But even those who usually seem quite immune to the “depressing” effects of winter are starting to crack. Give us a break – it has been the coldest winter in  Toronto that I can remember, and underlying everything in the back yard is that wonderful 2 inch layer of solid ice we got 2 days before Christmas.

So maybe if I go around singing “The sun will come out tomorrow”, the weather gods might actually respond and allow spring to come.

This winter has been hard on me, and on us. Dad passed away in January, and now Wendy’s brother has been diagnosed with pancreatic lesions – not cancer yet or hopefully never, but it is still scary.

I never realized how intense the research I’ve had to do was going to be. This term project has taken me twice as long as I thought it would, and every time I think I’m done, I read it again, and think of an approach or perspective I hadn’t seen before, so back to revisions. When I’m finally done, I am gonna post the darn thing like a trophy.

And coming full circle, all this down stuff is just being exacerbated by the absolute refusal of spring to actually begin.  🙂

Please, please, please if anyone has any pull, see if you can do something about this endless winter – lol.

Well, back to my project? Or wine and bed? Project? Wine? decisions, decisions – damn.

 

 

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Some things will never change, nor should they.

susanbwalker

As my father fades, I ponder and think out loud.

There were two people there when I was brought into this world. Two people who came together in love and created me.

Whether they could make it work or not, whether I was sometimes in the middle and I didn’t want to be, they both did their best with all their flaws to love me.

I may have drifted away from one of them after their divorce, but I always knew one thing beyond question.

These two people  were, are, and will be the first and always to love me.

Unconditionally. Nothing can change that. Ever.

My dad. My mom.

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Some things will never change, nor should they.

As my father fades, I ponder and think out loud.

There were two people there when I was brought into this world. Two people who came together in love and created me.

Whether they could make it work or not, whether I was sometimes in the middle and I didn’t want to be, they both did their best with all their flaws to love me.

I may have drifted away from one of them after their divorce, but I always knew one thing beyond question.

These two people  were, are, and will be the first and always to love me.

Unconditionally. Nothing can change that. Ever.

My dad. My mom.

Alienation is more prevalent than I could have ever imagined

In my research this summer, I have been amazed and frankly quite upset at the prevalence of parental alienation from mild to extreme in the cases I’ve been studying. Unfortunately, the victims (primarily the children, but also the target parent) may never realize the abusive manipulation to which they have been subject.

Two excellent articles. (direct link at the bottom) As well, please read Melanie Anders article, which I posted on June 23.

Welcome to…

Symptoms of Parental Alienation

Copyright by Douglas Darnall, Ph.D.

To prevent the devastating effects of Parental Alienation, you must begin by recognizing the symptoms of PA. You will notice that many of the symptoms or behaviors focus on the parent. When the child exhibits hatred and vilifies the targeted parent, then the condition becomes parental alienation syndrome. After reading the list, don’t get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating. This is normal in even the best of parents. Instead, let the list help sensitize you to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children.

1. Giving children choices when they have no choice about visits. Allowing the child to decide for themselves to visit when the court order says there is no choice sets up the child for conflict. The child will usually blame the non-residential parent for not being able to decide to choose whether or not to visit. The parent is now victimized regardless of what happens; not being able to see his children or if he sees them, the children are angry.

2. Telling the child “everything” about the marital relationship or reasons for the divorce is alienating. The parent usually argues that they are “just wanting to be honest” with their children. This practice is destructive and painful for the child. The alienating parent’s motive is for the child to think less of the other parent.

3. Refusing to acknowledge that children have property and may want to transport their possessions between residences.

4. Resisting or refusing to cooperate by not allowing the other parent access to school or medical records and schedules of extracurricular activities.

5. A parent blaming the other parent for financial problems, breaking up the family, changes in lifestyle, or having a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc.

6. Refusing to be flexible with the visitation schedule in order to respond to the child’s needs. The alienating parent may also schedule the children in so many activities that the other parent is never given the time to visit. Of course, when the targeted parent protests, they are described as not caring and selfish.

7. Assuming that if a parent had been physically abusive with the other parent, it follows that the parent will assault the child. This assumption is not always true.

8. Asking the child to choose one parent over another parent causes the child considerable distress. Typically, they do not want to reject a parent, but instead want to avoid the issue. The child, not the parent, should initiate any suggestion for change of residence.

9. Children will become angry with a parent. This is normal, particularly if the parent disciplines or has to say “no”. If for any reason the anger is not allowed to heal, you can suspect parental alienation. Trust your own experience as a parent. Children will forgive and want to be forgiven if given a chance. Be very suspicious when the child calmly says they cannot remember any happy times with you or say anything they like about you.

10. Be suspicious when a parent or stepparent raises the question about changing the child’s name or suggests an adoption.

11. When children cannot give reasons for being angry towards a parent or their reasons are very vague without any details.

12. A parent having secrets, special signals, a private rendezvous, or words with special meanings are very destructive and reinforce an on-going alienation.

13. When a parent uses a child to spy or gather information for the parent’s own use, the child receives a damaging message that demeans the victimized parent.

14. Parents setting up temptations that interfere with the child’s visitation.

15. A parent suggesting or reacting with hurt or sadness to their child having a good time with the other parent will cause the child to withdraw and not communicate. They will frequently feel guilty or conflicted not knowing that it’s “okay” to have fun with their other parent.

16. The parent asking the child about, or involving the child in discussions about his/her other parent’s personal life causes the child considerable tension and conflict. Children who are not alienated want to be loyal to both parents.

17. When parents physically or psychologically rescue the children when there is no threat to their safety. This practice reinforces in the child’s mind the illusion of threat or danger, thereby reinforcing alienation.

18. Making demands on the other parent that is contrary to court orders.

19. Listening in on the children’s phone conversation they are having with the other parent.

Five Signs of Parental Alienation

When Esther shared her experience with parental alienation and how her ex used religion against her, I commented that I could see how she would be puzzled by her children’s behavior, wondering if it was real, wondering what exactly she had done to warrant the rejection, wondering what her ex and others had said to have such an impact. Sometimes parental alienation can start off quite benign but the seeds are planted and the indoctrination grows. By the time it’s clear what’s happened it’s often very difficult to counteract.  My guest blogger today is divorce coach Nancy Kay and she says there are five signs that your child is being brainwashed. Here’s Nancy:

Parental alienation is a problem that most often arises when parents engage in bitter and extended child custody litigation. Although intense feelings of anger and mistrust are common when parents are  beginning to transition from the tidal wave of emotions surrounding divorce into a co-parenting relationship, most parents experience less anger and anxiety over time as they make efforts to co-parent in a way that is healthier and more productive for the children.

Parental alienation is real and very difficult to fight“Parent alienation occurs when a child is influenced by one parent (often called the alienator) to completely reject their other parent (often known as the target.)  In severe cases, parent alienation results in the child’s complete rejection of the target parent. Typically, the reasons for the child’s rejection are frivolous or unjustified,” explains parent educator and author Christina McGhee in her book, Parenting Apart.

Due to the intensity of emotions that erupt during the often lengthy process of separation and divorce, many parents experience strain and frustration within the parent-child relationship. Some parents engage in harmful or destructive behaviors that lead to the natural consequence of the child distancing themselves from that parent.

In contrast, true parental alienation takes place when one parent unduly influences the child to respond to the other parent in a consistently negative manner despite there not being evidence of  destructive or harmful parenting behaviors.

There are five common signs that a child is being affected by true parental alienation. And the term “child” can apply to an adult child as well.

  • The child views the alienating parent as the good and honest parent and expresses only negative feelings toward the target parent who is seen as all bad. This black-and-white thinking is consistently reinforced by the alienating parent until the child expresses hatred, contempt and fear regarding the target parent while not showing any guilt or remorse.
  • The child denies being coached or influenced by one parent. “Mimics accusations and opinions of the alienating parent yet insists they have formulated ideas about the target parent on their own,” explains McGhee.
  • The child’s negativity extends to the targeted parent’s extended family. The child refuses visits or contact with relatives of the target parent, even if they had a warm and interactive relationship prior to the alienation.
  • The child’s contempt, hatred and rejection toward the target parent are based on frivolous and unwarranted reasons.  The rejection is not based on personal experiences that are justified by harmful or destructive behaviors, but more on perceptions than actual actions.
  • The child consistently rejects one parent and refuses to have contact with them. “Many parents describe having a formerly loving and close relationship with their children only to become completely leveled by the fact that their children no longer want to have any contact with them,” explains McGhee.

The direct and collateral damages that result from parental alienation lead to long-lasting effects that are enormously destructive and destabilizing to both the children and the parents involved.

“Alienation of affection damages the child’s core of her sense of self and her ability to form lasting, intimate relationships with friends and family. The loss of a connection with the alienated parent also damages the child’s psychological road map for understanding where she came from, since she will now lack one parent as a role model,” explains psychotherapist and author Aleta Koman, in her book, My Ex is Driving Me Crazy!

Since parental alienation has such destructive long-term consequences for both parents and children, it is extremely concerning that more is not being done by professionals to clarify when early stage alienation is taking place and take strategic actions to turn things around before the alienation has reached a critical stage. Unfortunately, many courts and other professionals who deal with parties experiencing high-conflict divorces are not trained about how to detect alienation early on when professional intervention could have the greatest impact.

Alienation is often hard to clearly define and legally prove and many target parents come to realize that trying to prove parental alienation in court is quite challenging, expensive and time-consuming.

Even if these parents are able to do so, many court systems are not equipped to deal with such high-conflict parenting situations that need intensive intervention. When the courts are reluctant to deal with such cases or not able to effectively intervene in a consistently effective manner, these parents often find that the family law attorneys they consult with either minimize the situation or are reluctant to pursue the issues in court.

Complicating matters further, some parents refuse to participate in parent-child therapy or respond to guidance from a therapist or parenting coordinator unless it is court-ordered and carefully monitored and evaluated on an on-going basis.  In addition, since the alienating parent is usually well-experienced at using litigation as a means to control the target parent, many target parents are exhausted and depleted by previous litigation and may fear that more legal intervention will only make things worse.

McGhee recommends that parents seek out professionals who truly understand the underlying dynamics of the problem, try hard not to take the child’s rejection personally and stay committed to positive co-parenting behaviors. She also advises parents to not give up hope despite the complexity of the situation. “The journey to repair your relationship with your child can be long and often requires an enormous amount of patience and persistence. In some parent-child relationships, it may take years before you will see the results of your choices and effort. Never make the mistake of thinking you do not matter to your children—you do.”

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Are you experiencing any of these signs? What strategies do you use to cope?

Nancy Kay, Divorce Management Coach at Moving Forward Through Divorce provides guidance to women and men as they learn how to manage the chaos that comes along with divorce. She combines her experiences as a Family Law Paralegal with Coaching Training to provide clients with the resources, skills and strategies they need to save time, money and avoid headaches as they navigate through divorce.  Connect with Nancy on Facebook or Twitter @NancyKay7.

http://www.sincemydivorce.com/five-signs-of-parental-alienation/

http://www.parentalalienation.org/articles/symptoms-parental-alienation.html

A very personal introspection on gay introspection

I’m not sure I should post this, and I may remove it later, but I had one of those big life lessons today.

When I came out seven years ago, and met my beautiful partner, I hadn’t navigated the obstacles raised by systemic homophobia. I must admit that overall, the reaction and support from most of the people in my life has been positive. W has been a godsend, helping me deal with a spectrum of reactions from family, friends and co-workers. She has been out since her early teens.

But yesterday, W took me to task. I came home from a particularly rough day, having had pretty well a week-long conflict with a colleague, who I felt was being demanding and unreasonable. As I poured out my concerns to W, I said that I thought that there was an element of homophobia in this colleague’s reactions. W asked why I thought that. The best that I could come up with was that this colleague had taken an extremely passionate and contrary position.

Then W said to me ” don’t ever hide behind this (being a lesbian, she meant). When I was sixteen, I came home from school ranting about this girl who I had had a fight with at school. I told my mom and dad that this girl was a bigot and queer-hater. My mom asked me what I had possibly done to aggravate this girl, and after a while talking,  I acknowledged that I had made some pretty obnoxious comments to her. My dad said to me that sometimes people will not like me because I am a lesbian, but sometimes they will not like me because they just don’t, or they don’t like what you have said or done. It would be way to easy for you to dismiss people that disagree with you as homophobic, but that is the easy way out. Examine what you have said or done before you ever label a person.”   W said this was the best piece of advice she had received in growing up as a lesbian. So many times, she said, she automatically assumed a degree of homophobia, but caught herself and analyzed and realized that in most of the situations, there was a legitimate factor that led to a conflict, one which had nothing to do with her sexuality.

Food for thought. I wonder now how many I’ve simply dismissed as homophobic, instead of examining the contributions that my own behaviours, comments and reactions might have made to the disconnect. And the truth is, not everybody is going to like me – that doesn’t make them homophobic.

Damn. I was in such a nice zone. But as always, thank you, W, for giving me another pearl on my journey.

Post script: Another life lesson. I showed W this entry before I posted, and she asked why I referred to her as just W. I told her I didn’t want to out her on my blog. She just looked at me with her “really?” look. So, just so my faux pas is there in print, I didn’t edit my post, but here and now say thank you, Wendy, for your love and support. That would be Wendy. Wendy Markham. I love you.

A Child Torn – about estranged children – an excellent article by Melanie Anders

A Child Torn

by Melanie Anders, University of Antwerp, Belgium

Parental Alienation is one of the most insidious, but least obvious forms of child emotional manipulation and abuse.  What makes it so hard to detect is that the resultant estrangement between child and parent is perceived by the child, even into adulthood, as a rational decision made independent of parental manipulation.

For the adult child who might wonder:  if more than 6 or 7 of the following behaviors are part of your history, then you will want to read on, and may want to consider seeking the assistance of a counselor/psychologist. The listed behaviors are garnered from actual litigation on the issue of parental alienation.

-Parent/stepparent  avoids/denies/terminates counseling that disagrees with parent/stepparent, eventually will find “supportive” counselor

-Parent/stepparent made a child feel guilty about liking/trusting the other parent/stepparent
-Parent/stepparent made a child feel guilty about wanting to spend a special occasion with the other parent/stepparent
-Parent/stepparent informed/involved a child in legal issues with the other parent
-Parent/stepparent informed/involved a child in financial issues with the other parent
-Parent/stepparent actively advocated/promoted a stepparent as equal to the biological/custodial other parent in the eyes of a child
-Parent/stepparent actively considered/discussed with the child adoption of the child by the step-parent,
-Parent/stepparent shared information with a child about the other parent/stepparent’s legal issues
-Parent/stepparent involved the child in discussions about the other parent/stepparent’s legal issues

-Parent/stepparent involved the child directly with the other step-parent’s former family
-Parent/stepparent gathered information about the other parent’s relationships through questioning the child
-Parent/stepparent negatively criticized the profession of the other parent/stepparent
-Parent/stepparent negatively criticized the financial structure of the other parent/stepparent’s household
-Parent/stepparent prevented a child from taking the child’s personal belongings back and forth between  two households
-Parent/stepparent sent verbal messages about finances/moneys owed through the children
-Parent/stepparent placed a child in a situation that divides their loyalties
-Parent/stepparent commented on their perception of the other parent’s commitment as a parent
-Parent/stepparent made the child decide an issue if the parents can’t agree
-Parent/stepparent questioned the child for specific details of the other parent/stepparent’s daily activities.
-Parent/stepparent criticized the religious practices of the other parent/stepparent.

If you have answered 7 or more, ask yourself this:

What would be the long term impact of such continued behaviors, especially in the formative years, on a relationship with a parent/stepparent, and on possible adult relationships in the child’s future?

What would be the intent of the parent/stepparent who displayed such behaviors?

 

What is parental Alienation?

There are two manifestations most indicative of parental alienation. First, a rejection of the “target” parent that is excessively disproportionate to the real, or even perceived behaviors of that target parent.  Second, a rejection of the extended family – anything or anyone associated with the target parent is included in the rejection. The separation is total.

This article will discuss the possible motivations for, and processes and consequences of parental alienation.

Motivation

The motivations behind the active alienation of a parent are usually fairly basic. Hurt at being left, or if the alienating parent is the leaver, the processes often address the emotional  insecurities of the perpetrating, or alienating parent.  The parent who left the relationship may sometimes feel the need to validate that action and can do so by denigration of the target parent. The alienating parent, or even a new partner of the alienating parent,  displays an insecurity about the role he or she plays in their new relationship, and in the children’s lives. The alienator or their new partner perceives the former partner as a threat to their new relationship, and a threat to their relationship with the children of that former partnership.  A threat to be minimized at least, or eliminated if possible. These insecurities are often heightened if and when the former partner, now the parent targeted for alienation, is or becomes involved in, a new relationship.

If another child is born to, or already exists in a new relationship of either former partner, the need to eliminate the target parent becomes exacerbated. In the minds of the alienating parent or step-parent, a  new step-brother or –sister in the target parent’s household constitutes an “attraction” to the children of  the alienator and former partner (target parent). To the alienator, it becomes something the “other side” has, a new step-parent, brother or sister for their children, but not one the alienator has access to, nor control over. The alienator must attempt to level the playing field.

 In the case of a new child in the alienator’s household, the target parent becomes the “attraction” that the shared child has, but the new child does not. “Cindy and Adam have two households, they get to go neat places with their dad or mom, while my child does not. I want my new child and me to have “exclusivity” in terms of being considered family witness or live with the difference in life arrangements.”.  Mere presence of the target parent is perceived by the alienator as an “advantage” for the target parent, a source of comparison for the new child in the alienator’s relationship. Therefore, the target parent must be eliminated to maintain the alienator’s supremacy of primary parenthood.

It often boils down to a  deep insecurity –“ I am no longer with the targeted parent, I have a new relationship, and I want my new partner to be my child’s dad or mom”. Or, the alienator’s new partner  holds the view that  “I am in this relationship, and I must establish my domain over my new family”. The only way to accomplish that is to somehow eliminate the former partner from the child’s life.

Processes

The processes involved in the effective alienation of a target parent are quite subtle, allowing the children to believe that they are arriving at their own conclusions. Many of the alienating behaviors are cloaked in the guise of transparent interaction with the child, such interaction usually being selective and self-serving. The alienating parent creates a façade of “choice” in the child’s mind, then subtly directs the child to make the “right” choice, the one that serves their agenda. This approach is extremely effective. Even into adulthood, the child believes that his or her perceptions of the targeted parent or step-parent are independently arrived at, and that the rejection of the targeted parent is justified. The alienator then leans back with agenda completed, and sympathetically commiserates with the child about the “unworthiness” of the targeted parent.

Language

 Language is a highly effective tool for the alienator. Selective application of words over an extended period can easily develop a perception in a child’s mind. Exclusive application of words such as “home” and “family”, applied solely to the alienator’s situation implies to the child that what they experience with the target parent is not truly “home” and “family” – those things only exists at the alienator’s location.

 Even tone of voice used by the alienator or their partner will affect the child’s perception. If every reference or discussion about the targeted parent occurs with a negative tone of voice, the child develops an underlying sense that there might be “something wrong” with the targeted parent.

The role of a step-parent is a very difficult one. Step-parents can be loving, caring, nurturing, supportive, but when it comes down to it, in situations where both parents remain or wish to remain involved in their children’s lives after a divorce, the step-parent is not the parent – the child already has two. It is sometimes thankless being a step-parent -all the work of parenting, without perhaps the societal recognition of the role. Unfortunately, it is often the insecurities of the alienating parent or their partner step-parent that push them toward promoting the step-parent’s importance, while minimizing the targeted parent’s validity in the child’s life.

The terms “mom” and “dad” are highly emotional. Promoting that a new partner be referred to, or even considered as the “mom” or “dad” is highly confusing for a child. This is often exacerbated when the alienators conducts themselves as if their new partner is indeed an equal to the child’s existing parent.  The new partner of the alienator should not be promoted as a “replacement” for the existing parent. All references made by one parent  to the child about parenting and its major decisions should include the former partner, the child’s other actual parent. The alienating parent  develops a scenario where they present their new partner as their co-parent to both the child and the targeted parent, often using the term “we” when discussing parenting issues with both the child and with the targeted parent. Discussions with the children about adoption by the partner of the alienating parent often occur. Ideally, when both biological parents maintain a major role in a child’s life, the only “we” a child should hear surrounding major parenting issues is in reference to both of their biological parents. When “we” is used to “promote”  the new partner, and subtly exclude the targeted parent, the alienating parent creates confusion in the child’s mind as to who they are to consider as responsible for them. Most manipulative is when an alienating parent does not use the terms “your mom” or “your dad”, but instead further minimizes the target parent by referring to him or her by name.

The alienating parent will often denigrate the target parent  and his or her new partner in subtle and indirect ways.  A child may be subject to reasonable-sounding, but negative nonetheless, comments about the “other side’s”  profession, religion, finances, parenting skills, house, or activities. Overall, the alienator “helps” the child “understand” the target parent, subtly presenting to the child a self-serving image of what is right (alienator’s positions and beliefs) and what is wrong (target parent or their partner step-parent).

What effective alienators do not understand (or worse, do understand but don’t care) in pursuit of their agenda is that when they disrespect the other parent to the child, they disrespect the child. In a child’s mind, if the negative things they are told about the target parent are true, then the child must be partly “bad” too, because he or she is a product of that parent.

Loyalties

A child naturally wants to be loyal to both of their parents. The alienator often puts the child in situations of divided loyalty by involving them in parental issues: emotional , financial, logistical and legal. The alienator often justifies this by claiming that it is the child’s “choice”, and that involving the child is somehow an altruistic effort to be “open and honest”.  Putting a question like “where do you want to spend Christmas?” or “which school do you want to go to?” places extremely uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing pressure on a young child. The targeted parent is often left with an untenable choice – either respond to the positions of the alienating parent and in doing so, deepen the child’s angst at being in a conflict of divided loyalties, or do nothing, and let the alienator’s position or version stand valid in the child’s mind.

The most insidious applications of this are through expressions of resentment or hurt by the alienating parent when a child expresses loyalty, pleasure, or affection for the targeted parent or step-parent.  A child quickly learns that he or she is not to express any positive feelings for, or relate positive experiences with the “other side” to the alienating parent, as it will be met with hurt and resentment. This further aggravates the child’s loyalty conflict.

In a very concrete sense, the alienator sometimes uses material issues as part of their process. Discussions with the child about money, not allowing free passage of the child’s possessions between households, even something as relatively innocuous as in which household birthday and Christmas gifts end up will further create a sense of division in the child’s mind.

Long term impact

The  processes behind a successful alienation of a parent are very subtle, again allowing the child to develop rejecting behaviors believing that they are acting independently. As they get older, a revised history is created in the child’s mind, usually supported by the alienator:  minor everyday conflicts with the targeted parent are remembered as major traumas, disagreements take on critical status, and in the worst cases, any large conflicts are painted as abusive in the child’s mind, such revisions supported and often encouraged by the alienating parent.

The subtleties of alienation create a “fixed idea” in the child’s mind, where everything the target parent and any new partner has done, every behavior, real or perceived is viewed as “bad”. The child, even as an adult, becomes incapable of perceiving or remembering the good things about the targeted parent, and about their life with him or her. In the child’s mind, the alienator becomes the only parent who is “good” and can be trusted and believed.

The ultimate rejection of the targeted parent takes on monumental consequences for the child, well into adulthood, and for the rest of his or her life. It has the potential to negatively impact future relationships as a partner or parent,  it denies the child the support of a caring parent, and eliminates one of the most fundamental relationships a child has – with a parent.

It creates a further loyalty conflict when there are siblings involved.  A sibling who does not “join in” the rejection of a parent may be portrayed as being disloyal to the rejecting sibling, usually a perception subtly encouraged by the alienator.

The alienator remains “supportive” in what the child believes is their own independent decision, allowing and secretly welcoming the rejection of the targeted parent, and offering an understanding shoulder, an  “I told you so” position toward the target parent, and continues to commiserate with the child’s seemingly independent assessment of the targeted parent as “unworthy”.

For those children and parents who are victims of the alienation process, there is an uncertain future. As the child gathers distance and time from the events they perceive as justifying the rejection of a parent, and as the influence of the alienator wanes as adulthood continues, the child may come to realize the control and manipulation to which they have been subject. Such realizations come with a cost – resentment at the loss of years with the target parent, resentment of the alienator – regardless, a traumatic experience. It is also possible the child will never recognize the alienation. The cost then is the permanent loss of a fundamental relationship, the loss of an extended family, and the impact that loss will have on the child’s future personal relationships.

For the targeted parent, there is only time and hope.

If you are an adult child who believes that you may have been the victim of Parental Alienation, please seek out professional counseling from a qualified therapist in child psychology.

This brief article is a simple overview, garnered from research, and interviews with adult children who have reconciled with their alienated parent. Much professional research has been done in this area, and below are several links to sites and articles dealing with Parental Alienation.